:-)

kalau tak silap,lebih kurang 3 bulan dan 2 minggu,peperiksaan akhir akan memula.Penentuan lulus untuk menjadi seorang doktor atau tidak.Sekejap sahaja.Pejam celik,pejam celik  dah hampir 5 tahun tinggal di Kelantan.Banyak kenangan yang ada dekat sini.baik yang indah mahupun sedih.Banyak yang jatuh,tapi banyak juga yang bangun.Lumrah alam.Kesenangan atau kesusahan sebenarnya suatu ujian.Kenangan study group sama-sama dekat bilik nisa,lepas tu dekat halaman DM3,lepas tu tukar ahli study group,berlatih dekat MDL,skill lab,ward,buat soalan osce,share dengan study group yang lain.banyak lagi la :-)

dan sekarang dah final year,lagi 2 posting insyaAllah,besarnya dugaan dan tanggungjawab,macam tak cukup lagi ilmu untuk jadi doktor.jadi a safe doctor.tapi insyAllah,the best is with us.

semalam tak tahulah mimpi apa,tengok-tengok dapat phone call "ok,turun bawah sekarang",rupa-rupanya parents datang.pelik pula sedangkan baru sahaja pulang last week.Abah cakap"saja,sebab bosan duduk rumah",ok accepted reason juga.tapi macam agak tak logik.

korek punya korek,anis cakap they came to give u some inspirations,some motivations.entahlah nak sedih terharu pun ada,nak gembira pun ada.macam takut pun ada.banyangkan mcm mana parents punya harapan yang tinggi untuk anaknya.regardless who they are actually.all they want is the best for us.semua parents macam tu kan :-)

bila fikir-fikir balik,ya Allah rasa bersalah bila kita terus biarkan diri dibelenggu sifat malas,biasala,semangat belajar ada naik dan turun.tapi kita kena fight untuk terus naik.dan rasa malu bila biarkan diri terus tenggelam dengan sifat malas tak semangat itu.sedangkan ibu bapa kita berdoa siang dan malam untuk kita.

beberapa minggu lepas,ada pelajar yang kantoi sebab ponteng kelas.but soalan yang doktor tanya,apa perasaan mak kamu bila dia tahu kamu ponteng.just put the question dekat kita.tanya hati,jawab sendiri.

Ya Allah,3 bulan lagi.tiupkan lah semangat yang tinggi untuk kami.bantulah kami untuk tolong menolong,jauhkanlah perasaan buruk sangka iri hati dan sebagainya.bantulah kami.ameen

impian kami nak cakap,

"Mak,Abah,we are doctors" in next 3 months.insyaAllah.

hmm

i hate DISTRICT!

we have so many things untuk search

evidence based medicine

investigative assignment

everything is journal,journal and journal

EVIDENCE

but i learned a lot.and to appreciate JOURNAL :-)

escapism!

one,
currently,im not happy with my task,yes,unhappy :-(

two,
im sad,i want to spill,but somehow they are busy,preoccupied with their own stress.where to turn?

three,
which one is better,understand others or you want people to understand you?

four,
people always think they have  a very heavier burden on their shoulder,being narcissistic,people should understand them,without understand ayat 2:286

im sick of these people,im trying to understand them,i have my own stress,sometimes i need to spill but when the time comes,i would lend my ears for them.it make me ponder that they suffer more compared to me.
therefore,Alhamdulillah.i learned from them!

random!

dulu-dulu pernah dengar tazkirah yang bila dekat akhirat,Allah akan tanya apa yang kita buat bila muda instead of bila tua.dulu tak pernah fikir kenapa nak tanya soalan macam tu,until one day,bila encountered an osteoarthritic patient.mungkin ada reason sebenar Allah nak tanya,but logically Allah tu Maha Adil,surely Dia akan tanya apa yang kita buat bila muda instead of tua.ye la dah tua,nak jalan pun tak larat,nak solat pun susah.sakit lutut la,kena solat duduk,nak pergi solat dekat surau pun susah,sakit nak jalan jauh.itu tak termasuk lagi urinary incontinence associated with sphincter laxity,tambah bila nak sujud or rukuk time solat.semua tu problem orang tua.So mungkin sebab tu kut.yeah,Allah Maha Adil :-)

ok,btw nak cakap ni,my study group dah start aggressively since last month.so we did some mcq,meq and osce questions selain dari clinical.so sapa2 yang nak buat soalan meq,or osce kami,mintaklaa.soalan tu buat sendiri or some cedok2 dari past year.so mungkin takdela ikut standard exam,buat rasanya tak kisah kan kalau nak refresh otak.so boleh la minta dekat munirah,kakpah or anis duha.depa rajin nak foward2 ni.hehehe

ok,assalamualaikum :-)

rumble

assalamualaikum to all,

i never know what is IMAM MUDA.i heard about it but i have no idea what it is all about.until one day,i was you tubing and key in "imam muda".my window popped out the winner of that programme,Imam Muda Asyraf.he is superb.MasyaAllah,SubhanAllah.

whoever is the imam,the important is the content that u want to deliver.wether it can open our heart or not.(but back to hidayah is milik Allah).tapi kalau the way they deliver the content macam sesetengah khatib or penceramah yang baca teks,mata pun boleh tertutup.public speaking memang penting :-)

and one more,last few months,i was infected by a virus spreading my sibilings.they love to read books and currently minat dalam sejarah tokoh-tokoh islam terutama karya Abdul Latif Talib.paling menarik kisah salahuddin al-ayyubi dan sultan muhammad al fateh.but my parents said,kalau setakat minat membaca tapi tak ambil pengajaran dari kisah tu,takde kesannya.Tokoh-tokoh tu patut dijadikan contoh.dijadikan sumber motivasi,as a reflection in a way to become a good person.paling tersentuh kisah umar abdul aziz,bagaimana dia sangat memberatkan amanah yang diberikan.

kalau nak baca,bacalah kisah sultan muhammad fateh,salahuddin al-ayyubi dan umar abd aziz.boleh rasa nak menangis,sangat bermotivasi dan buatkan kita kagum dan sedar everything is back to Allah :-)

rumble

assalamualaikum

i just having a conversation with my eldest brother.yup,life is getting harder and harder day after day.no doubt on that.i don't know why i feel like my tears are flowing down the cheeks even though i try to remain cheerful  at that time(very fake).but it is not a big problem by the way.

well,since raya is getting nearer although we haven't cross the ramadhan yet, my big brother dah start pening with those raya stuff in a way of duit raya.it just because of the name and the reputation.how he needs to double up his working hour to give us duit raya.huhuhuhu.

nahhhhhhhh,i told him"kalau orang nak bagi kita ambil,kalau taknak bagi takpa,they would understand,if not,buat tak tau saja.the point is back to our niat.kalau just about reputation,baik tak payah,pahala pun tak dapat nanti.baik sedekah duit dekat rumah anak yatim.lagi bagus"

i know,my brother sincerely nak bagi,but somehow he realized that he couldnt afford it.

being the eldest in the family and the eldest grandchildren,well,he has big responsibility la kan; to show a good example to the others.living in KL somehow is troublesome.money is needed here and there,even the toilet.huh!

okla,i dont know why i am ranting about my brother.owh yeah,got my point.it is about bersyukur or to be grateful.

ok,kita kena bersyukur dengan apa yang kita ada.tak kisahlah kalau perkara itu hanya la sekecil mana.bukan wang yang menggunung,rumah yang besar,kereta yang banyak atau jawatan yang tinggi.

well,rezeki itu ada di mana-mana,Allah dah tetapkan setiap orang ada rezekinya masing-masing,it needs our effort to reach it.make sense kan :-)

well,rezeki doesnt mean money by the way.it can be translated as a chance or anything.

early this morning,my junior called me.she asked about her grandparent who had acute urinary rentention,with tense and globular bladder.they failed to insert the catheter so he needs further intervention.somehow it give some reflection to my life.i never realize for being grateful of what i have.i never realize that urinate or BO give some significance to our life.what if you having constipation for a week.or urinary rentention?horrible kan.u cant go here and there,feeling the consistency,u might avoid to drink as it might further distended your bladder.i have seen one case like that during my attachment.very pathetic.

kesian kan.so overall we need to bersyukur for what we have.

till then,

salam

p/s:personal development is important in other to become a  good person :-)

buang bayi

assalamualaikum,

alhamdulilllah,just finished reading the 11th commandment.awesome!u cant resist yourself what happened next after next.from a page flipping to the next page until you realized that clock struck at 12 midnight and u haven't touch your academical books yet.

now i realized that i cannot resist my self to know the ending of the story,dulu ingat malay novel je yang tak boleh stop,perhaps it was because of the story line yang sangat saspen!

by the way,last night,i had a conversation with my friend.we came cross to a topic of buang anak.well,we have seen lots of single parents in the ward,married or not.and surely the bad stigmata will cross the mind.ops!but thinking on the positive site,we should support them actually.maybe they had committed the sin (et:sex before marriage) but they do not throw themselves into the hell again as they will deliver the baby safely(insyaAllah) and at least the foster parents will be taking care of the baby.lagi bagus dari buang bayi yang tak berdosa tu.it opens my eyes laa about that!

and one more,she said that we should be thankful and grateful for our parents.memangla sometimes kita memberontak bila kita kena marah,merajuk or everything.but sometimes we never realize that kita bukanlah tergolong dalam anak yang terbuang itu.kita bersyukur sebab kita takde ibu bapa yang nak buang anaknya.

and she said malaysia mungkin dah maju setapak ke hadapan dalam pembangunan,ekonomi(walaupun harga minyak naik) but sebenarnya kita semakin jauh ke belakang,ibarat di zaman jahiliyah apabila pembuang bayi berleluasa.kalau dulu hanya bayi perempuan yang ditanam hidup-hidup,sekarang dah tak kira jantina lagi.so siapa yang teruk?kita atau orang dulu?

well,i never think about that part pun.thanks for opening my mind!

your first time

moving here this weekend

by the way,i cant sleep tonight,it is 3 am in the morning.*sigh*

well,my brain keep asking myself,what is your first time in bla bla,one after another,could not stop

so my brain is very active and end up with INSMONIA

therefore,what is your first time in anything that u want to share with us?

hahahaha,my brain tengah recall my first time suture the wound and injecting the LA.and followed with car driving,accident bla bla

no wonder la tak boleh tidur.

too many synapse between the neurons

:-)

rumble

haven't update my blog for quite sometimes

just finished the one month attachment in my hometown

might be busy for the next 3 weeks 

we are moving somewhere

 

update later!

pre-exam symptoms

salam to all,

currently,i'm having severe palpitation the worst ever i think in this year.like last night slept at after 12 or nearly 1,and woke up around 2++ with a fresh mind,gila ke apa?intended to perform solat hajat but afraid to go to the toilet.

and able to sleep back until 530,woke up,perform Fajr prayer.Then alhamdulillah,i was reciting alQuran reading the meaning and i found this ayat: 

"Dan pohonlah pertolongan kepada Allah dengan sabar dan solat"(2:44)

Then,terus hantar message share with my friend :-)

but the nervous still persisted,breakfast with MILO,but vomit.hahaha.memang teruk :-)

and now alhamdulillah getting better.

okla,sebelum pergi exam,jangan lupa solat sunat kawan-kawan.we hope for the best

my paper is at 9 in the morning continue with clinical exam at 130-300pm.

whoever read this post,please doa for me and my friends,pray for the best,weather pass or not,it doesnt matter.as long as it is the best.but no body in this world want to be a failure kan.hehehe

salam!

p/s:i feel lucky to be born as a MUSLIM.at least i know who i want to turn on to seek help :-)

kata nak jadi baik

manusia,
kata nak jadi baik,
kalau hanya kata-kata dan niat
tanpa disertai dengan action apa kes?

kata nak jadi baik,
tapi puasa pun tidak
sembahyang pun tak cukup
apa kes?

kata nak jadi baik,
nampak sahaja baik,
cakap pun kasar,
hati kotor,
apa kes?

baik pada mata manusia sahaja

baik manusia tak sama dengan baik Allah,

sebab zaman sekarang kadang-kadang yang haram kita tengok halal,yang halal kita tengok pelik :-)

thanks,

assalamualaikum,

my 23rd birthday celebration somewhere in restaurant terapung,kedai lalat

 

semalam adalah 27 Feb 2010,genaplah saya berusia 23 tahun.owh,dah tua sangatlaaaa =(.yup,saya sangat gembira,terasa diri dirahmati,dikasihi dan diberkati.dan saya sangat suka dengan segala ucapan hari lahir yang diberikan seperti:

"semoga panjang umur,dimurahkan rezeki"

"semoga dirahmati di dunia dan di akhirat"

"semoga bertambah iman mu"  

dan banyak lagi =)

dan saya berharap jika ditakdirkan suatu hari saya tiada di dunia ini,masih terdapat sahabat-sahabat yang mendoakan kesejahteraan saya di sana.terutama di alam barzakh.seperti banyaknya ucapan pada hari lahir.

"setiap orang pasti merasai mati"

thanks to zahra for the intelligence talk that we had last friday.even though it was a short,but very good=)

BIG THANKS

i wish

if i were asked by lampu aladdin about my wish

and my answer is "i wish i have lots of money"

feeling of jealousy is there when my newly graduated cousin sponsored my cousin's wedding.at least he sponsored the baju kurung to most of my relatives.

and of course,they were totally proud of you,not selfish.

your atuk especially when u gave him the money.even once,but he was so happy.

like abah said"your first salary is the most meaningful in your working life"

i wish a have my salary now!!!

just want to make them happy,selagi mereka masih bernyawa,dan kita juga bernyawa =)

please FINISH fast.

urgh***

thanks

this morning was my first day on clerking the psychiatric patients.since i approached them in the clinic,the clerking was much more easier compared to the ward.and i encountered a patient,that experience only 2 days of sleep disturbance and one day after that she developed auditory hallucination that lasted less than one week.therefore,she was diagnosed to have brief psychotic disorder(instead of major depressive with psychotic feature which was my probable diagnosis)

well,she really opened my eyes.widely in many aspects.we shared a lot of experiences together(patient was stable :D).and the important that really made me "owh,ainaa wake up" was when she said

"makcik patut bersyukur dengan dugaan yang Allah bagi kat makcik.even 2 days Allah duga makcik macam tu,buatkan makcik sangat-sangat insaf dengan kesalahan lalu"

ok,another sentence memang kena muka sendiri

"bila makcik sakit,makcik sedar,makcik lebih dekat dengan Allah,dan makcik rasa Allah dekat dengan makcik.kalau dulu nak baca quran sehari pun belum tentu,baca newspaper berjam-jam takde masalah"

ok,that sentence memang really made me totally insaf.

well,my first impression of psychiatric was ok,cabaran!

btw,my patient shared with me her homework.

"KELEBIHAN DIRI SAYA"

she can list up almost 2 pages,but when i asked myself,even nak keluar satu pun susah.ok,i havent recognized myself yet!

p/s:makcik,semoga cepat sembuh 110%

weekend

alhamdulillah,berjaya habiskan buku ini semalam.Owh buku ini sangat best,jalan cerita yang mantap,pengajaran yang sangat baik.alhamdulillah,diberi rezeki untuk beli dan baca buku ini.pasti menjadi salah satu koleksi buku kesayangan.ok,sekarang dah ada 3 buah buku untuk penulis ini.tapi ada 2 yang paling disayangi.

survivor

i was reading his post yesterday,

oh my!!he suffered so many times

but never told any of us,

how secretive he was,

but now i know,

he can survive,

very independent.

im totally impress with him

alhamdulillah

=)

good sunday

this was a conversation between my specialist(S) and his patient's relative(R)

btw,patient was admitted due to giddiness and shortness of breath

S:makcik,sekarang boleh jalan jauh-jauh lagi ke?boleh pergi surau solat etc?

R:tak boleh dah doktor.la duduk rumah je.nak jalan mana2 dah tak larat

owh buku

owh,latest buku dah keluar,

this 29th january akan keluar sebuah lagi yang baru

-umar abdul aziz-.

nak beli,nak beli!!!

ok,now i know what to do during my interposting break.

2 more weeks to go.but at this moment,i need to finish my Langit Ilahi first.so far every chapter of Langit Ilahi memang best.memang ada reflection,memang terkesan,owh memang segala memang best.

my clinical exam is next week.hope i can do my best.

ok,sudah mahu belajar.

selamat belajar

semangat untuk belajar.

senyum =)

friday's rumble

picture was taken by munirah/anis/mimi

currently,we are busy with our multimedia project.

plus we have lots of things to be done

owh man,2 more postings to go before we end our year

hope we can survive =)

pray for us

rumble

i really miss my photography.